User Profile

Filius James Flitwick stands at 5'11", which makes him look even more intimidating for younger students. He almost always looks either disinterested, or angry, depending on whatever mood he is in. He can always be found with either a cigarette, a cup of tea or a bottle of beer in his hand, even during classes. But don't even try to suggest that he has a smoking/drinking problem, the last person who dared (Mr Travers of London) ended up in Mungos after a severe bashing. Flitwick has a short fuse, and is quick to start screaming at the top of his lunga. Unless he likes you, in which case you have the luck of playing "Dodge the furniture".

Flitwick, known for his temper, is only kept at Hogwarts because 90% of his students pass with an "E" grade or higher. You don't want to know what happens to the 10% who get an "A" or lower. He loves throwing paperweights at students who don't succeed the very first time, or if they don't grasp the charm at all, they usually end up with cigarette marks inbetween their fingers. He has been the subject of many a complaint by an angry parent, but he usually gets Dumbledore to reply by sending back their childs charms mark, and asking what their problem is. Only a few parents ever reply back.

So what changed with Flitwick?
Everything. He has been replaced with his evil twin, Flitwank. Flitwank is the complete opposite of Flitwick in every way.
Instead of him being a hermit for a couple of years, Flitwank was out shagging chicks all over Europe. Fuck knows if he has any illigitimate children. *looks at students suspiciously*
He didn't become a teacher because his Mum told him to, he became a teacher because he thought there was free booze and cigarettes. He only just managed to fluke his way through the exam.
His early life consisted of turning his parents hair grey, forcing his sister into foster care and getting put into a boys home. He went back there every summer until he was 15, then he spent all his saved up money on a motorcycle and rode from party to party, surviving on free food and booze, and siphoning petrol from other peoples cars in order to gas up his bike. He shacked up with whatever chick was willing to have him stay at their house.
When his Dad was put into Mungos, Flitwick outright refused to give him a kidney. In fact, he blew smoke in his fathers face and drunk a pint of beer in front of him before walking out in hysterical laughter. The same thing happened when his Mum needed $1000 to have a tumour removed. When his sister died and Flitwick found out he was in charge of looking after his niece, he lost her in a game of cards in a dingy pub in Manchester. Buggered if he knows where she is now.
So basically, Flitwank is a bastard. And a dick.

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